I have spent a significant amount of my married life ranting about the husband’s complete lack of interest and knowledge of technology i.e. He does not use a smart phone, is not sure what is whatsapp, logs on to Facebook twice a year and keeps bugging me with questions like “what happens if I Like this?” or “how can I comment on this?” Or “what is the difference between Facebook and Twitter?”
Therefore I have to do all the online work like paying bills, booking movie tickets, planning holidays, ordering books,etc. Yeah! It’s very frustrating.
But then in a sudden moment of epiphany I realized that this virtually non-existent husband has some advantages too.
1. No sharing of the internet –
That is a HuGE advantage for me because we have limited internet connection here like 10GB. (Don’t get me started on that). Imagine if both of us were the ‘forever online’ kinds, we would exhaust the limit in three days flat. Now I can hoard all the bandwidth and use it for my excessive recipe reading, youtube watching, downloading books, reading about books, etc.
2. Escape all the boring jobs
This is a great advantage to have. Sample this –
Husband – can you make tea?
Me – But I am booking tickets for tomorrow’s movie. Sorry….can you?
Me- Please read the story to the daughter (for the fortieth time)
Husband – Why can’t you do that?
Me – I am paying the electricity bill online…..
3. Your choices always
The husband and I almost always do not agree on anything. That is also true for our choice of movies. I am a movie lover but there is only so much of sci-fi or illogical action flicks I can take in a year. So when we are picking out the movie to go –
Husband – Lets watch Fast and furious 47
Me – I would love to (Yawn!) but there seems to be something wrong in the website. I am simply unable to book the seats…
Husband- Oh no!
Me – But guess what, the tickets for the latest Ajith movie are available. No choice now…let’s for it.
Husband – Sigh! Ok.
4. You can trade in favors for the World Cup score –
I know this is not something everyone enjoys because it is a very seasonal advantage and most people have some way to get cricket scores. But when you live in a non-cricket country and your legal cable channel will not let you watch the World Cup without taking your iPhone 6 and your kidney in return, you have a very big advantage. So, this is what has been happening for the past two weekends at home –
Husband – What’s the score?
Me- What do I get?
Husband – An additional piece of the Lindt
Me – Hmm, ok. let me check on whatsapp.
5. Win all arguments
I know this is not an easy connection to make and requires months, if not years, of practice. First, you have to get all arguments to be decided on ‘Majority Wins’. Second, you have to convince the husband that the majority is on your side. How? By using the magical line ” Everyone online says so”.
See. For example –
Husband – Kids need to be potty trained as soon as they are one.
Me – No, you have to wait till they are two.
Husband – One
Me – Two
Husband – How do you know that?
Me – (slowly, enunciating each word followed by an effective pause) – Everyone online says so.
Husband – *Shrugs*
So, I think I will now actively start blocking any efforts of the husband to become more tech savvy. Makes sense, doesn’t it?
Disclaimer – This is about a friend and has no connection with me or my daily life with the husband in any manner whatsoever 😉