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Archive for June, 2011

What do I do?

Posted by Sowmya on June 8, 2011

The BIG update in my life is that I am moving….again…this time to Bangalore!

It feels weird all over again. It is a new place but the three years in Chennai have made me tougher than before. I am no longer apprehensive of new places and new people. I don’t worry about not having my doc around or my tailor or beauty parlour. These may sound trivial in the larger scheme of things but trust me, these were stuff I found it hardest to adjust with. When simple daily stuff are not the way you want them to be, life is unsettled and you feel like you are in Mars. You can call yourself truly settled in a place when you know the small eateries there or where you get fresh flowers daily or who can do all the alterations in your clothes for less than ten bucks. All this usually happens once you have established a network of people -different kinds of innumerable people. But this network gets built over a long period of time.

The ironic part is that I had just begun to get comfortable in Chennai, just begun to know and understand it. I discovered the place, found new routes and started building my people network. But now I have to leave and start the process from scratch. I may or may not be as lucky in Bangalore as I was in Chennai. I may not find similar minded folks around me and I may never know who to go to when I run out of milk. I guess I have not shed all my apprehensions about moving as yet. I still don’t like it. I like the comfort of familiarity. Is that wrong? Is it wrong to want to have familiar friendly faces around?  To have few people to smile at on my way to the local grocer? Why can’t I continue to stay in the same place forever. I thought I had made my share of adjustments and shifts when I made the mega move from Mumbai to Chennai. But I guess it was not enough.

Though I know I have done it before, it still seems to be a big challenge. All said and done, Chennai is a place I have visited since childhood. I know its streets, its smells and its people. I am aware of its moods, its flavours and its culture. I have relatives who are only too pleased to share their knowledge and guide me around. But Bangalore is totally alien. I knew very few people there and from what I understand they stay in the ‘city’ while I am technically outside it. What do I do?

I had grand plans of working from home for my Chennai company but suddenly I am not so sure.  Would it make sense to pick up a regular job in Bangalore -just so that I know more people and get familiar with the place? But is that what I want? To work in a regular job again? When do I do things that I really want to do? What is a good time to start living life the way you want to? What do choose between duty and desire? Between pride and desire?

What do I do?

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