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JHATKA TALES

Hiya

This page is purely for the everyday Jhatka I get from the oh-so-unbelievably-amazing Chennai Autowallas. I have been destined to take an auto everyday to and from work and come across certain very wacko auto guys. If you have any such interesting stories please do let me know…it will be fun 🙂  Scroll to the end for the latest Jhatka

JHATKA 1

It is one of the rare occassions when I get into the first auto I set my eyes on. Eureka! Conversation commences –

Autowalla (AW) :   Where exactly in Guindy ma?

ME :   *gives directions*

AW :  Ok Ok….I know. Lets Go

 As is usual practice I pull out my soulmate (read mobile / cell phone /etc) and start punching names. Things are going fine, just like they should.  Suddenly AW takes a sharp left.

ME  :  Hey! What are you doing? Why are you taking a left? We need to go straight ahead……

AW :  But if we take the left we can reach Anna Arch. 

ME : I do not need to go to the Anna Arch. I have to go to Guindy. Please go straight ahead

AW : Ohhhhhhhh! You want to go to Guindy?

ME :  WTF?????????????????

Will someone explain?

JHATKA 2

ME : Will you come to M******** near *insert name of landmark*

AW : Yes Yes, why not

Bargain complete……half hour journey commences

ME : Which route are you planning to take?

AW : You say Madam. Any route you say I will take….I am public servant. I will do as the public says.

ME : *slightly confused* Ok, Ok…take the road to the left and go on

AW : Yes Madam. I am social servant. I will do as you tell me. Do you want to go before or after the *specified landmark*?

ME : After…the next signal

AW : OK Madam Ok Madam. I am your social servant……I will do exactly as you ask me to. I will drop you to the perfect location. Not one inch nearer not one inch farther. That is my duty. That is why I am born here.

ME : *totally bewildered and confused by now and reach for the all-season savior -my iPod*  

AW : *Still on his social servant monologue* My duty is very important. I will do as my customer tells me. That is why I am here and driving this auto. This is what I always will do.      

ME : *drowning in Kabhi Kabhi Aditi Zindagi Mein*

AW : Oh! you are listening to music?

ME : *removed the ear phones since he was constantly turning around to talk to me* Yes.

AW : Good Good. Very Good thing to do. Music is very good for the health and happiness of human beings. Ilayaraja is God! (probably the only time our opinions matched) I like to listen to his songs. His songs are very good and melodious.

ME : *No response*

AW : Ok Ok, you are not listening to me?

ME : No (I actually got away with that 😉 )

AW : Ok then I will not talk but only drive….after all it is my duty, I am a social servant……………………….

ME : *looking to bang my head somewhere*

JHATKA 3

Me: Will you come to N*******? Near *insert name of landmark*

AW: Yes

Bargaining commences……finally the agreed sum is 90 bucks.

At the end of the journey, I hand over a 100 rupee note.

AW: I don’t have change

Me: You don’t even have 10 bucks? Why did you not tell me in the beginning

AW: I thought you would have the change.

Me: You don’t have 10 bucks and expect me to keep 90 bucks? Did it not occur to you that I would give a 100 rupee note?

AW: (in English) Look Madam! We are not cheaters like you people. You are trying to squeeze me of the money. Don’t try to squeeze me. I only have 100 rupee notes. I don’t have change. If you had told me before I could have got change from somewhere. Now there is nothing I can do. If you want keep the money but we are not cheaters like you.

Me: (totally zapped) What are you saying???

AW: I will return the 10 rupees to you tomorrow at the same place. Don’t think that we are cheaters.

Can someone please explain how –

1. He expected me to keep 90 bucks as change when he did not have 10 and that too at 8 in the morning?

2. He is not a cheater if he bargains for fares and does not go by the meter?

3. How and when did he decipher that I was a cheater? Whom did I cheat and when?

4. What would he have done in case I took upon his offer and not paid him at all??

That, my dear friends, is the Chennai Autowalla for you. Crazy and outrightly ridiculous!!!

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3 Responses to “JHATKA TALES”

  1. “I will not talk but only drive” – Indha ezhave modhallaye panni irukkalaam!!!

  2. S said

    Well, kadisi varikkum pessaradhai nirutheve illai…total torture

  3. Romba Adi Pattu irruka… Don’t worry I have had my days with these buggers too…

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